Do you have students in your classroom with deployed parents? At the beginning of 2007, almost 1.4 million Department of Defense active-duty service members and 829,005 reserve and guard service members were deployed. Over one-third of those soldiers were married with children. So you may have children in your classroom whose parents are serving away from home. Even if you do not have children in your classroom who are directly involved, it is likely that your students know someone who is. And all children are likely to know something about U.S. troop deployments, but they could be confused. Teachers and school personnel across the country can learn to help all children understand and cope with deployment.
Deployment occurs when a service member is assigned to military duty away from home and cannot be accompanied by family. An individual may be deployed with a group or sometimes separately. Deployment can be to war areas, such as Iraq or Afghanistan. Deployment also can be to areas with no political violence, such as helping with border patrol or the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Schools can be reassuring places for children dealing with deployment. The classroom can provide an anchor of needed stability and normal routine for children when the rest of their daily lives is disrupted. Because the classroom is familiar and safe, it can be a good place for children to share concerns and express their feelings. As a teacher, it is important for you to be aware of the situations of the children in your classroom. The educator's guide to deployment provides a more in-depth description of deployment and how it can affect military children. If you live near a military base, you may be aware of the military situation and have access to resources within the military community to help your students. Those teachers who do not live near a base but have children whose parents are in the military may find it a little harder to recognize the military children in your classroom. Not all parents will tell you that they or their spouses are in the military. Some wives may not feel safe letting the community know that they are home alone while their husband is deployed. Some other families may not want to become the center of attention. They may want to help their children live their lives as normally as possible. You can encourage communication with all of your students and their parents, but you may need to do things differently for deployed families and those who are not. Guidelines are given for teachers of all children, children from military families and children from non-military families.
All Children • Talk to the whole class about deployment. Ask your class what they
think deployment means. Because “deployment” sounds liked “employment,”
younger children may get confused. They may think that a parent who is
deployed is like one who is “unemployed.” Clarify misunderstandings, support
their ideas and experiences, and help them find answers. Other
misunderstandings may be hard to predict. Keep your eyes and ears open.
Explain that it is all right to feel scared, nervous, confused, and excited about
parents needing to leave their children. • Listen to the children and answer their questions. Be truthful and talk to
them openly and honestly. Let them know they may ask questions and share
concerns at any time. Be prepared to discuss the topics of death, violence,
and politics. • Share your feelings. Let your children know that even negative thoughts and
feelings are OK and normal. Explain how you deal with uncomfortable feelings. Be
aware of the students' emotions. Let them know it is OK to be upset, confused,
sad, or afraid and help them learn what to do when they feel that way. • Be prepared for differences of opinion. Be aware that there can be conflict
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talking about political issues. Although they may not understand the politics,
children will have picked up some attitudes and responses from their parents.
Some parents may support the military action, and some may be against it. It is
all right for you to say that you do not have the final or “right” answer, and it is
all right for you to tell your class that this can be an uncomfortable topic. Let the
parents know if topics about deployed parents or political violence have come up
in your classroom. Tell the parents that you are trying to be supportive of
everyone. Encourage the parents to talk with their children about these delicate
issues. Consider convening a parent meeting where parents can share successful
ways to deal with these questions. And explore ways to make an educational
activity out of your students' questions and concerns. • Help adolescents support their friends. Adolescent and pre-adolescent
children are likely to go to their friends first when they have problems. It is
important for them to have a safe and secure relationship with their peers,
as well as with their family. It is also important to give those friends some
tools to use when other adolescents come to them. Teachers can teach
children of many ages how to communicate effectively and be supportive.
They can also teach them how to recognize bigger problems. All children
should learn when to tell an adult about a friend's problem. • The news. Right now the media is often focused on the military and deployment
to war areas. Since your children probably watch television, you may want to
talk to the class about what is being portrayed in the news. Ask your class if
they have seen anything on the news that they want to discuss in class. How
do their favorite shows handle war? How do their shows handle peace? The
military? Teach media literacy.
Children from Military Families • Be aware of behaviors of these children in your classroom. Children with
deployed parents can become stressed from all that is happening at home. Even
if they have had previous experience with a deployment, they still may not fully
understand why their parent has to leave, or they may be angry that it is
happening again. • Keep routines and rituals for children with deployed family members. Some
things clearly have changed when parents are deployed. One or both parents are
gone. The remaining parent or caregiver will have added responsibilities. The
children may feel like they are not getting enough attention from the remaining
parent. The children may have to get used to not having the deployed parent
read them a bedtime story or play games with them. Children may get sad in the
classroom. Some children may want to talk about war or the military all the time.
Try to hold on to some familiar activities. Consistency is important for children so
they know what to expect. But at the same time, recognize that there can be a
need to break routines. Consistency is good, but do not always pretend nothing
has happened. • Be aware that not all military parents will be deployed as units. While most
military members deploy in units, some are deployed individually. Also, some
parents who are deployed as a unit may return at different times, even if they
left at the same time. It may be hard for children who have parents deployed
individually to understand when other military parents come back before their
parent. While children may want to celebrate by bringing their returning parent
to class, try to be aware of those children whose parents may still be deployed.
Talk with the children and their parents to explain what has happened and ask
if they think it would be all right to have the returning parent come into class.
Be aware of the feelings of the other children and parents. There is not just one
right way to handle this situation. Keep in touch with all the families in your
classroom so that you can respond to their needs. • Be prepared to mourn with children. A death of a deployed parent will affect
the parent's children, but it will also affect the entire classroom. When a military
parent dies, it may seem to children and their family as if they die many times.
One time is when the family first gets the news. The next may be when the body
is returned home. A third may be when the parent was supposed to return. Be
sensitive to the children's ongoing and changing needs. • The news. Some children may be tempted to watch the news to see their
parent; others may not want to watch television at all. Be careful about
exposing your class to news media. Explain to your class that some pictures
shown on the news or in magazines were taken months or years ago and are
not current. Explain that the news report may include pictures that come from
old files and not from the current story. Explain that there are many people
deployed and when the television shows the holiday greetings, the children
may not see their own parents. That does not mean that those parents do
not love their children.
Children from Non-Military Families • Be aware of behaviors of these children in your classroom. Children without
deployed parents may become jealous of the attention military children are
receiving. Or they may think the families with deployed members are strange
or that the children did something wrong to make the parent(s) leave. They
may not fully understand what is going on. • Children are not concerned only about themselves . You may think that
only the children in military families will be interested in this topic. That is
probably not true, however. All children will be aware when something is
different with their classmates. Children will want to know about the military,
why their friends' parents have left, and how they can help. • Have a military member or spouse visit the classroom. You may not be
able to answer all of the children's questions. It may be best to learn from
people who are going through deployment. Parents may want to help. Hearing
from adults who are connected to the military can provide insight into the
military lifestyle. Children in military and non-military families can learn what
those families are experiencing.
Activities for the whole class • Have your class adopt a classroom in a different country. The world can
seem big and strange when parents are sent to a far-off country. Connecting
with other children around the world can help make it seem smaller and can build
relationships that may make wars less likely. It may be especially interesting to
find a classroom close to the area where the parents have been deployed. If
you connect with a classroom, help the students in your class make a booklet of
their favorite things. Include the students' favorite foods, hobbies, television
shows. Encourage the children to add pictures and drawings. Have the class
come up with questions to ask the adopted classroom. Remind students that
their pen pals may not always be able to write back, but it is still nice to write
letters. • Have a question box in your classroom . This will work if your children are
comfortable with writing. You could tell your class that the box is for any
question they have about the military or what it might feel like to have a
parent missing, or you could invite questions on anything at all. Once a week,
set aside time to address the questions in the box. Either answer the question
yourself, or ask the classroom if someone would like to answer the question.
Do not make the students answer if they do not want to. Do not single out
students when you are considering the questions. Make this a time for the
students to reflect on how they would feel if the topic you are discussing
was an issue in their lives. • Build some educational experiences related to current issues in the news.
Below are suggestions for topics along with the subject matter that would be
covered.
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